


Rhus the Day

by methylviolet10b



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Prompt Fic, Puns & Word Play, Silly, dubious botanical practices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-18
Updated: 2013-07-18
Packaged: 2017-12-20 13:39:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/887911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/methylviolet10b/pseuds/methylviolet10b
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unfortunate encounter leaves Watson irritably immobile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rhus the Day

**Author's Note:**

> Written for JWP #17: **Watson's Woes** \- and another alliteration. This time, whump Watson woefully with an alliterative injury or woe of any severity. A swift stabbing or a gooey gumdrop? It's up to you to invent, write, and deploy!
> 
>   
>  **Warnings** : Highly dubious botany. Significantly silly. **And absolutely no beta.** This was written in a complete rush. You have been warned.  
>   
>  **Additional Author's Note** : Certain names used are the 1890's taxonomy; modern taxonomy has a different classification.  
> 

  
  
  
  
“Perhaps some liniment might help,” Mrs. Hudson fussed. “I’ve my grandmother’s recipe…”  
  
Inwardly, I sighed, but I did my best to give her a smile. “Thank you, Mrs. Hudson, but I’ve already treated myself. Just tea, if you please.”  
  
“Of course.” She hurried to the sitting-room door. “And a plate of biscuits. I’ve made a batch of shortbread special just for you.”  
  
Holmes threw down his newspaper and shifted uncomfortably in his armchair. “She seems to have a great care for you, Watson. She hasn’t offered to make _me_ any special biscuits, despite my sprained ankle.”  
  
“Perhaps because she knows you love shortbread too,” I retorted. “Or possibly because you rebuffed her quite rudely when she offered to adjust your footstool.”  
  
“Or possibly because she can’t resist being kind to you in your current state of dishabille,” Holmes sniped. “After all, the fairer sex are your department, and given your current state of dress…”  
  
Reminded, I looked down at my bare legs protruding from beneath my dressing-gown. They were badly blistered by a raised rash, with wicked welts weeping fluid where the calamine coating had cracked off. My arms and hands were similarly afflicted, and once again I had to remind myself not to touch any of it. “Hardly an alluring sight for any woman, Holmes. You need not be an expert on females to deduce _that_.”  
  
Holmes had the grace to look abashed. “Never mind, my dear fellow. I am churlish and out of sorts. I simply hate to see you suffer so, particularly since it was my blunder that led to your affliction.”  
  
“You are in no way at fault. We both knew that Rogers collected poisonous plants. How could you possibly guess that he’d be mad enough to import and plant an entire hillside on his estate with a malicious mixture of _Rhus toxicodendron_ , _Rhus diversiloba_ , and _Rhus vernix_?* It’s utter madness!”  
  
“I know collecting mania. I should have been able to guess.”  
  
“We are simply fortunate that you proved immune, and that only I was susceptible.” The idea of _Holmes_ being so afflicted – and being stuck in the same quarters with him as he underwent agonies of itchiness and bouts of burning, trying to keep him from clawing carelessly at the wretched rash – it was a thought too terrible to contemplate.  
  
Holmes sighed. “Leaves of three, leave it be,” he recited. “Well, it’s experience, and knowledge is never wasted. Should we ever find ourselves in North America, my dear Watson, we’ll know what to avoid.”  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted July 17, 2013.
> 
>  
> 
> *For those who don't know: these are the old classifications for poison ivy, poison oak, and poison sumac, all native to North America, and highly unlikely to be imported and deliberately grown anywhere!


End file.
